Killer wants to jump through the laptop screen.
KILLER (RADIO)
Calista! Get out of there. Now!
The M&M's watch Calista stomp her foot and storm off.
PLAIN M&M
C'mon, let's get a drink.
As the duo walks away:
PEANUT M&M
(holds up his massive
costume hands)
Like I can hold a drink with these.
Why'd you pick these costumes?
Izzy and Charlie wait anxiously by the hog pen as Emo
struggles to free himself.
IZZY
We've got to get this moving.
CHARLIE
What happened to Calista?
KILLER (O.S., RADIO)
I got her out of there. She was
about to blow the operation.
(beat)
Charlie, take over her job. Izzy,
go talk Calista off the ledge.
Izzy eases over to Calista, tries to reason with her.
IZZY
What the heck?
CALISTA
Hello? It’s called acting!
IZZY
Just stick with the playbook from
here on, okay?
CALISTA
Party pooper.
Charlie goes over to the calf pen. Stands at the gate and
talks to Emo over the radio.
CHARLIE (RADIO)
Can you get up?
EMO (RADIO)
No, man. It gets worse the more I
try to pull out.
CHARLIE (RADIO)
Okay, I'm coming in to get you.
EMO (RADIO)
No! We can't take a chance on you
getting stuck in here too. Try to
get them moving.
CHARLIE (RADIO)
How am I supposed to do that?
EMO (RADIO)
Just open the gate and shoo them.
Charlie ponders the situation. He looks around to make sure
no one is watching, and kicks the gate open. He waves to the
calves, but it's not very convincing.
CHARLIE
C'mon, guys. Gals. Whatever. Don't
you want your freedom? There's a
great big world out there just
waiting for you! Now go!
EMO (RADIO)
Are they moving?
CHARLIE (RADIO)
No! What now?
Toots pipes in as he watches.
TOOTS (RADIO)
You gotta set 'em off, Emo.
KILLER (O.S., RADIO)
Toots is right. We've gotta get
those calves on the run.
CHARLIE (RADIO)
But then we really will blow our
cover for sure!
KILLER (RADIO)
We don't have time to argue. We
have to keep moving forward!
(beat)
Give the lead calf a little slap.
Charlie looks confused, but he does what he's told. He gives
the lead calf a little love slap across the snout.
KILLER (O.S., RADIO)
On the butt, you bozo!
Charlie goes to the calf's rear, takes a deep breath and
gives it a SLAP. It sort of has the desired effect. The calf
moves forward, at a leisurely pace, as calves tend to do.
The rest of the herd doesn't want to miss out, so they amble
along as well. It's the most boring stampede ever.
CHARLIE (RADIO)
This'll send everyone into a panic.
True to Charlie's sarcastic statement, there's no panic
amongst the students as the calves wander into the barnyard.
In fact, it's just the opposite. They mingle with the calves,
petting and gushing over them.
ZOMBIE STUDENT
Oh my gosh! Baby calves! So cute!
The gate-guarding Cowboys rush over to the calves, irritated.
COWBOY #1
What the heck is going on? Who let
them out?
The M&M's pat the calves with their big mitts. Plain M&M
points in Calista's direction.
PLAIN M&M
Talk to her. She was hanging out by
the pen's gate a few minutes ago.
Calista watches the Cowboys approach. Toots see them as well,
pleads to Emo.
TOOTS (RADIO)
Set 'em off now Emo!
Calves still loiter about, some making their way to the gate.
EMO (RADIO)
I still have calves all around me!
TOOTS (RADIO)
You'll be okay! Just do it!
Emo opens the bag. Looks inside at the plethora of fireworks.
He struggles with a decision on what to do.
The Cowboys track down Calista just as Izzy heads back over
to Charlie.
COWBOY #1
Allie! What'd you do?
Calista doesn't respond. Cowboy #2 is suspicious.
COWBOY #2
I don't think that's Allie.
Calista starts to move away, but Cowboy #1 grabs her arm. She
SCREAMS. It's loud, ear-piercing.
The scream is so loud, even Killer whips off his earphones.
KILLER
Holy crap!
(into radio)
Calista, stall them best you can.
We're on our way.
Killer jumps out of the truck. Rushes across the road to a
barb wired fence. He breaks out wire cutters and quickly
snaps all three wires and pulls them apart.
Snacks continues to steer the drone as Trekkie monitors the
laptop. As the watches the monitor, he zooms in on Calista
and the Cowboys. Cowboy #2 looks up and notices the drone.
TREKKIE (RADIO)
Heads up--the drone’s been spotted.
Calista struggles to break free of Cowboy #1's grip.
CALISTA
Let me go! Help!
COWBOY #2
(points up)
Someone's spying on us!
Cowboy #2 pulls off her mask. Calista looks sheepish.
CALISTA
So, we getting together later?
COWBOY #1
You're not Allie. Who are you?
COWBOY #2
She's a Pinkley student.
(yells to the crowd)
We've got a Legume in our midst!
The Ryan students turn. Several start moving in her
direction. Toots pulls off his backpack, takes a baggie
filled with a powder out.
TOOTS (RADIO)
Do it, Emo! Now!
Emo closes his eyes, takes a deep breath. He grabs a massive
firecracker and flicks on a zippo lighter. He lights the fuse
and tosses it towards the back of the pen.
A calf walks along and steps on the firework. It sinks into
the mud and fizzles.
EMO
Oh, come on!
Izzy and Charlie nervously inch to the hog pen gate. The
massive hog grunts angrily. That’s when he spots Benny at the
pen’s back gate. Points it out to Izzy.
CHARLIE
It’s Benny and his team!
IZZY
What? We have to stop them!
It feels like it’s all falling apart for Charlie, until:
Emo finally gets another firework lit and throws it again.
Lights one after another, tosses them as well.
The Ryan students take turn picking up rocks and tossing them
at the drone. One of them finally gets lucky and clips one of
the propellers. The drone spins around and dives.
It falls into the bonfire just as Toots throws his large bag
of powder into the roaring fire. The powder causes a massive
flame to shoot fifty feet in the air. WHOOOSH!!
The flame gets everyone's attention, including Benny.
The BOOM of the powder rattles Benny and he drops the bolt
cutter into the mud.
BENNY
(to Jedi)
Get it, you fool!
Even the Cowboys lose their interest in Calista.
AT THE CALF PEN--
Immediately following the powder explosion, Emo’s fireworks
take effect: POP!! POW!! POP!! One after another, huge
explosive noises emerge from the calf pen.
NOW there's a stampede. The calves, spooked, immediately
gallop in all directions. Students are no longer interested
in petting the calves -- they're more interested in survival.
It's a comical sight. Costumed kids run around, trying to
avoid the stampede. The Cowboys and the hog pen guards run
about, trying to corral calves best they can.
BACK AT THE HOG PEN--
Jedi tries to retrieve the bolt cutter, covered in mud.
BENNY (CONT’D)
Hurry up, you idiot!
The ground begins to tremble. A low, building rumble from the
direction of the calf pen, just as Jedi pulls out the cutter.
Benny resumes his work on the padlock.
PRINCESS
Benny--
BENNY
Almost there...
PRINCESS
Benny!
BENNY
I said I’m almost--
CHARLIE (O.S.)
BENNY! Look out!
Benny looks up.
A wall of panicked calves rounds the corner of the barn at a
full gallop, hooves churning the muddy earth.
For one moment, Benny notices Charlie out of the corner of
his eye. A helpless look. Then the herd hits.
It’s CHAOS. Shadow troopers and calves become one tangled,
screaming, mooing mass.
Hobbit, sprinting in from the far side of the barn at
precisely the wrong moment, grabs the fence rail to stop
himself. The rail gives way. He swings out on it directly
into the oncoming herd and vanishes with a yelp.
Jedi gets flipped up in the air and lands on the back of one
the cattle. He rides it facing backwards, screaming wildly.
Princess and Jedi, quickest of the group, barely scramble out
of the way. They race behind the barn and vanish.
Benny’s cape gets caught on a calf’s hooves and he disappears
under a wave of spotted bovines who make their way into the
cornfield.
Charlie and Izzy watch, almost sympathetically. Almost.
CHARLIE (CONT’D)
C’mon.
The truck and trailer zip through the fence line and race
towards the hog pen.
Izzy and Charlie leap into the hog pen. Charlie pulls a small
lasso from his backpack and cautiously slides it around the
hog's neck.
Toots and Emo make their way to the hog pen, dodging runaway
calves along the way.
Killer pulls the truck up in the field next to the pen. He
and Snacks jump out and disassemble the rails making up a
section of the fence holding the hog inside.
In the confusion with the calves and the fireworks, no one is
paying attention as Charlie tries to pull the hog forward.
The hog is having none of it, though. He won't budge.
CHARLIE
Izzy! Get out the apples!
Izzy pulls a couple of apples out of Charlie's bag. Hands one
to Calista, who has shown up to help. Emo and Toots rush into
the pen as well.
CHARLIE (CONT’D)
(to Emo and Toots)
Push this thing from behind.
TOOTS
Uh, say what?
CHARLIE
Push! He's not going anywhere! Izzy
and Calista, get those apples in
front of him!
Toots and Emo get behind the sow. The sight is ugly, and the
smell is not enticing either. They hold their noses and
gingerly place their hands on the hog's butt. Gross!
CHARLIE (CONT’D)
C'mon, guys!
TOOTS
You wanna come back here and push
on a pig's butt?
Izzy and Calista wave the apples in the hog's face. The beast
snorts and squeals. And then it happens.
The hog charges forward. It drags Charlie along through the
mud as he struggles to hold on to the rope.
Emo and Toots fall into the mud as the hog suddenly
disappears from in front of them.
The hog drags Charlie right into a fence post, but he
continues to hang on.
Calista and Izzy run up and in the trailer, apples in hand.
The hog trots behind them right up to the trailer, then
stops. No amount of cajoling will coax him in.
And now in the middle of the calf chaos the M&M's finally
notice the attempted hog theft.
PLAIN M&M
They're trying to steal the hog!
The M&M's run across the barnyard towards the trailer. Other
students follow, dodging calves running about the barnyard.
KILLER
Trouble on the way. Toots, see if
you can delay them.
Toots nods and pulls more fireworks from his bag. Roman
Candles. He stands like an old west gunfighter and aims the
candles at the feet of the oncoming students.
WHOOSH!! WHOOSH!!
Students and calves scatter. Peanut M&M continues forward but
gets waylaid by a skittish calf, knocking him five feet away.
The Cowboys by now have gotten on horses, and steer them
toward the trailer, avoiding stampeding calves as they go.
Killer, Snacks, Emo and Charlie all get behind the hog and
push. It's like pushing a small car stuck in park.
Izzy holds her apple right at the hog's mouth. The hog tries
to bite it and Izzy pulls it away, which angers the hog. It
SQUEALS loudly.
The Cowboys get closer. Toots pulls out several cherry smoke
bombs and lobs them in their direction. As the red smoke
fills the air, he integrates some whirling pinwheel fireworks
for full effect. The horses rear up and dump the Cowboys on
the ground.
Emo runs over, puts one of the apples in his mouth and does a
little wiggle in front of the hog. He then starts backing up
into the trailer.
The hog follows along, but too slowly for Killer’s taste. He
give the hog and firm SLAP on the butt and it jolts forward
and up the trailer ramp, knocking Emo and Izzy to the side.
KILLER (CONT’D)
C'mon, get out of there!
Everyone scrambles out and the trailer doors are shut.
KILLER (CONT’D)
In the truck!
The gang leaps in the back of the truck as Killer puts the
car in gear and peels out.
It’s a celebration filled with laughs and high fives as they
make their way out of the fence opening by the road.
The excitement is short-lived, though, as the headlights of
several TRUCKS suddenly appear down the road behind them. The
trucks race quickly towards the F-150.
AT THE CORNFIELD --
Benny emerges from the field. Disheveled. Dishearted. His
helmet on sideways. He drops to his knees, defeated.
A couple of Ryan students stare at him. He holds his arms out
in grand spectacle:
BENNY
ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED??
Charlie spots the Ryan students trucks.
CHARLIE
They're following us!
Killer floors it.
KILLER
(to Charlie)
Let them know we're coming!
Charlie pulls out his phone and hits a number on speed dial.
CHARLIE (INTO PHONE)
We're heading your way and we've
got company!
The F-150 takes a corner quickly and everyone slides to one
side. Izzy winds up on top of Charlie. Not that he minds. But
she quickly disengages.
Killer reaches the edge of town. He cuts across a railroad
track, then makes a couple of turns at traffic lights in
town. The trucks are only fifty yards behind them now.
Rounding another corner, he passes another Ford F-150 just
like his with a trailer in tow. The gang waves at the driver
as they pass. Killer takes another turn and disappears.
The truck whips around the corner and SKIDS to a stop at the
sight of the second F-150. The Ryan students, which include
the Cowboys, circle the truck.
The window rolls down on the truck as the students approach.
The driver: MEG. She laughs as the confused Ryan students
look on in horror.
MEG
Looking for someone? Or something?
One of the Ryan students opens the trailer. Empty. The
students pile in their trucks and peel out.
MEG (CONT’D)
Was it something I said?
The truck speeds along a deserted country road on the other
side of town. Happy faces on the team members. Izzy and
Charlie grin at each other, and she slides her hand into his.
The F-150 pulls in to a large wheat farm. The truck swings
around to a barn where the doors are already open.
Killer pulls the truck to a stop inside the barn. Everyone
jumps out, where they're greeted by Emo's PARENTS. Backs are
slapped, hair tussled. Congrats all around. Refreshments are
served by Emo's mom.
Killer looks suitably impressed. He looks in the back of the
trailer. Whistles.
Snacks comes up, a lemonade in each hand. Killer reaches for
one of them.
KILLER
Thanks, kid.
(raises his drink)
To Squeal Team Six. You guys
totally earned the name tonight.
EVERYONE
(raised drinks)
Cheers!
Everyone take a drink, but they're jolted back to reality:
SNACKS
I don't want to be the buzzkill
guy, but how are we gonna get this
hog in the stadium? Those Ryan
students are going to be blocking
every entrance to the stadium.
It is buzzkill. The other team members stop what they're
doing and look to Killer. He's not fazed.
KILLER
Leave that to me. Just make sure
you’re on the field at halftime.
PRELAP: The marching band DRUM BEAT once again builds, and we
know we're headed to:
— ⑫
INT. RURAL ROAD - FORD F150
Killer wants to jump through the laptop screen.
KILLER (RADIO)
Calista! Get out of there. Now!
EXT. BARNYARD - CALF PEN
The M&M's watch Calista stomp her foot and storm off.
PLAIN M&M
C'mon, let's get a drink.
As the duo walks away:
PEANUT M&M
(holds up his massive
costume hands)
Like I can hold a drink with these.
Why'd you pick these costumes?
Izzy and Charlie wait anxiously by the hog pen as Emo
struggles to free himself.
IZZY
We've got to get this moving.
CHARLIE
What happened to Calista?
KILLER (O.S., RADIO)
I got her out of there. She was
about to blow the operation.
(beat)
Charlie, take over her job. Izzy,
go talk Calista off the ledge.
Izzy eases over to Calista, tries to reason with her.
IZZY
What the heck?
CALISTA
Hello? It’s called acting!
IZZY
Just stick with the playbook from
here on, okay?
CALISTA
Party pooper.
Charlie goes over to the calf pen. Stands at the gate and
talks to Emo over the radio.
CHARLIE (RADIO)
Can you get up?
EMO (RADIO)
No, man. It gets worse the more I
try to pull out.
CHARLIE (RADIO)
Okay, I'm coming in to get you.
EMO (RADIO)
No! We can't take a chance on you
getting stuck in here too. Try to
get them moving.
CHARLIE (RADIO)
How am I supposed to do that?
EMO (RADIO)
Just open the gate and shoo them.
Charlie ponders the situation. He looks around to make sure
no one is watching, and kicks the gate open. He waves to the
calves, but it's not very convincing.
CHARLIE
C'mon, guys. Gals. Whatever. Don't
you want your freedom? There's a
great big world out there just
waiting for you! Now go!
EMO (RADIO)
Are they moving?
CHARLIE (RADIO)
No! What now?
Toots pipes in as he watches.
TOOTS (RADIO)
You gotta set 'em off, Emo.
KILLER (O.S., RADIO)
Toots is right. We've gotta get
those calves on the run.
CHARLIE (RADIO)
But then we really will blow our
cover for sure!
EXT. RURAL ROAD - FORD F150
KILLER (RADIO)
We don't have time to argue. We
have to keep moving forward!
(beat)
Give the lead calf a little slap.
EXT. BARNYARD - CALF PEN
Charlie looks confused, but he does what he's told. He gives
the lead calf a little love slap across the snout.
KILLER (O.S., RADIO)
On the butt, you bozo!
Charlie goes to the calf's rear, takes a deep breath and
gives it a SLAP. It sort of has the desired effect. The calf
moves forward, at a leisurely pace, as calves tend to do.
The rest of the herd doesn't want to miss out, so they amble
along as well. It's the most boring stampede ever.
CHARLIE (RADIO)
This'll send everyone into a panic.
True to Charlie's sarcastic statement, there's no panic
amongst the students as the calves wander into the barnyard.
In fact, it's just the opposite. They mingle with the calves,
petting and gushing over them.
ZOMBIE STUDENT
Oh my gosh! Baby calves! So cute!
The gate-guarding Cowboys rush over to the calves, irritated.
COWBOY #1
What the heck is going on? Who let
them out?
The M&M's pat the calves with their big mitts. Plain M&M
points in Calista's direction.
PLAIN M&M
Talk to her. She was hanging out by
the pen's gate a few minutes ago.
Calista watches the Cowboys approach. Toots see them as well,
pleads to Emo.
TOOTS (RADIO)
Set 'em off now Emo!
Calves still loiter about, some making their way to the gate.
EMO (RADIO)
I still have calves all around me!
TOOTS (RADIO)
You'll be okay! Just do it!
Emo opens the bag. Looks inside at the plethora of fireworks.
He struggles with a decision on what to do.
The Cowboys track down Calista just as Izzy heads back over
to Charlie.
COWBOY #1
Allie! What'd you do?
Calista doesn't respond. Cowboy #2 is suspicious.
COWBOY #2
I don't think that's Allie.
Calista starts to move away, but Cowboy #1 grabs her arm. She
SCREAMS. It's loud, ear-piercing.
INT. RURAL ROAD - FORD F150
The scream is so loud, even Killer whips off his earphones.
KILLER
Holy crap!
(into radio)
Calista, stall them best you can.
We're on our way.
Killer jumps out of the truck. Rushes across the road to a
barb wired fence. He breaks out wire cutters and quickly
snaps all three wires and pulls them apart.
Snacks continues to steer the drone as Trekkie monitors the
laptop. As the watches the monitor, he zooms in on Calista
and the Cowboys. Cowboy #2 looks up and notices the drone.
TREKKIE (RADIO)
Heads up--the drone’s been spotted.
EXT. BARNYARD
Calista struggles to break free of Cowboy #1's grip.
CALISTA
Let me go! Help!
COWBOY #2
(points up)
Someone's spying on us!
Cowboy #2 pulls off her mask. Calista looks sheepish.
CALISTA
So, we getting together later?
COWBOY #1
You're not Allie. Who are you?
COWBOY #2
She's a Pinkley student.
(yells to the crowd)
We've got a Legume in our midst!
The Ryan students turn. Several start moving in her
direction. Toots pulls off his backpack, takes a baggie
filled with a powder out.
TOOTS (RADIO)
Do it, Emo! Now!
Emo closes his eyes, takes a deep breath. He grabs a massive
firecracker and flicks on a zippo lighter. He lights the fuse
and tosses it towards the back of the pen.
A calf walks along and steps on the firework. It sinks into
the mud and fizzles.
EMO
Oh, come on!
Izzy and Charlie nervously inch to the hog pen gate. The
massive hog grunts angrily. That’s when he spots Benny at the
pen’s back gate. Points it out to Izzy.
CHARLIE
It’s Benny and his team!
IZZY
What? We have to stop them!
It feels like it’s all falling apart for Charlie, until:
Emo finally gets another firework lit and throws it again.
Lights one after another, tosses them as well.
The Ryan students take turn picking up rocks and tossing them
at the drone. One of them finally gets lucky and clips one of
the propellers. The drone spins around and dives.
It falls into the bonfire just as Toots throws his large bag
of powder into the roaring fire. The powder causes a massive
flame to shoot fifty feet in the air. WHOOOSH!!
The flame gets everyone's attention, including Benny.
The BOOM of the powder rattles Benny and he drops the bolt
cutter into the mud.
BENNY
(to Jedi)
Get it, you fool!
Even the Cowboys lose their interest in Calista.
AT THE CALF PEN--
Immediately following the powder explosion, Emo’s fireworks
take effect: POP!! POW!! POP!! One after another, huge
explosive noises emerge from the calf pen.
NOW there's a stampede. The calves, spooked, immediately
gallop in all directions. Students are no longer interested
in petting the calves -- they're more interested in survival.
It's a comical sight. Costumed kids run around, trying to
avoid the stampede. The Cowboys and the hog pen guards run
about, trying to corral calves best they can.
BACK AT THE HOG PEN--
Jedi tries to retrieve the bolt cutter, covered in mud.
BENNY (CONT’D)
Hurry up, you idiot!
The ground begins to tremble. A low, building rumble from the
direction of the calf pen, just as Jedi pulls out the cutter.
Benny resumes his work on the padlock.
PRINCESS
Benny--
BENNY
Almost there...
PRINCESS
Benny!
BENNY
I said I’m almost--
CHARLIE (O.S.)
BENNY! Look out!
Benny looks up.
A wall of panicked calves rounds the corner of the barn at a
full gallop, hooves churning the muddy earth.
For one moment, Benny notices Charlie out of the corner of
his eye. A helpless look. Then the herd hits.
It’s CHAOS. Shadow troopers and calves become one tangled,
screaming, mooing mass.
Hobbit, sprinting in from the far side of the barn at
precisely the wrong moment, grabs the fence rail to stop
himself. The rail gives way. He swings out on it directly
into the oncoming herd and vanishes with a yelp.
Jedi gets flipped up in the air and lands on the back of one
the cattle. He rides it facing backwards, screaming wildly.
Princess and Jedi, quickest of the group, barely scramble out
of the way. They race behind the barn and vanish.
Benny’s cape gets caught on a calf’s hooves and he disappears
under a wave of spotted bovines who make their way into the
cornfield.
Charlie and Izzy watch, almost sympathetically. Almost.
CHARLIE (CONT’D)
C’mon.
EXT. RURAL ROAD - FORD F150
The truck and trailer zip through the fence line and race
towards the hog pen.
Izzy and Charlie leap into the hog pen. Charlie pulls a small
lasso from his backpack and cautiously slides it around the
hog's neck.
Toots and Emo make their way to the hog pen, dodging runaway
calves along the way.
Killer pulls the truck up in the field next to the pen. He
and Snacks jump out and disassemble the rails making up a
section of the fence holding the hog inside.
In the confusion with the calves and the fireworks, no one is
paying attention as Charlie tries to pull the hog forward.
The hog is having none of it, though. He won't budge.
CHARLIE
Izzy! Get out the apples!
Izzy pulls a couple of apples out of Charlie's bag. Hands one
to Calista, who has shown up to help. Emo and Toots rush into
the pen as well.
CHARLIE (CONT’D)
(to Emo and Toots)
Push this thing from behind.
TOOTS
Uh, say what?
CHARLIE
Push! He's not going anywhere! Izzy
and Calista, get those apples in
front of him!
Toots and Emo get behind the sow. The sight is ugly, and the
smell is not enticing either. They hold their noses and
gingerly place their hands on the hog's butt. Gross!
CHARLIE (CONT’D)
C'mon, guys!
TOOTS
You wanna come back here and push
on a pig's butt?
Izzy and Calista wave the apples in the hog's face. The beast
snorts and squeals. And then it happens.
The hog charges forward. It drags Charlie along through the
mud as he struggles to hold on to the rope.
Emo and Toots fall into the mud as the hog suddenly
disappears from in front of them.
The hog drags Charlie right into a fence post, but he
continues to hang on.
Calista and Izzy run up and in the trailer, apples in hand.
The hog trots behind them right up to the trailer, then
stops. No amount of cajoling will coax him in.
And now in the middle of the calf chaos the M&M's finally
notice the attempted hog theft.
PLAIN M&M
They're trying to steal the hog!
The M&M's run across the barnyard towards the trailer. Other
students follow, dodging calves running about the barnyard.
KILLER
Trouble on the way. Toots, see if
you can delay them.
Toots nods and pulls more fireworks from his bag. Roman
Candles. He stands like an old west gunfighter and aims the
candles at the feet of the oncoming students.
WHOOSH!! WHOOSH!!
Students and calves scatter. Peanut M&M continues forward but
gets waylaid by a skittish calf, knocking him five feet away.
The Cowboys by now have gotten on horses, and steer them
toward the trailer, avoiding stampeding calves as they go.
Killer, Snacks, Emo and Charlie all get behind the hog and
push. It's like pushing a small car stuck in park.
Izzy holds her apple right at the hog's mouth. The hog tries
to bite it and Izzy pulls it away, which angers the hog. It
SQUEALS loudly.
The Cowboys get closer. Toots pulls out several cherry smoke
bombs and lobs them in their direction. As the red smoke
fills the air, he integrates some whirling pinwheel fireworks
for full effect. The horses rear up and dump the Cowboys on
the ground.
Emo runs over, puts one of the apples in his mouth and does a
little wiggle in front of the hog. He then starts backing up
into the trailer.
The hog follows along, but too slowly for Killer’s taste. He
give the hog and firm SLAP on the butt and it jolts forward
and up the trailer ramp, knocking Emo and Izzy to the side.
KILLER (CONT’D)
C'mon, get out of there!
Everyone scrambles out and the trailer doors are shut.
KILLER (CONT’D)
In the truck!
The gang leaps in the back of the truck as Killer puts the
car in gear and peels out.
It’s a celebration filled with laughs and high fives as they
make their way out of the fence opening by the road.
The excitement is short-lived, though, as the headlights of
several TRUCKS suddenly appear down the road behind them. The
trucks race quickly towards the F-150.
AT THE CORNFIELD --
Benny emerges from the field. Disheveled. Dishearted. His
helmet on sideways. He drops to his knees, defeated.
A couple of Ryan students stare at him. He holds his arms out
in grand spectacle:
BENNY
ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED??
EXT. RURAL ROAD - FORD F150 (MOVING)
Charlie spots the Ryan students trucks.
CHARLIE
They're following us!
Killer floors it.
KILLER
(to Charlie)
Let them know we're coming!
Charlie pulls out his phone and hits a number on speed dial.
CHARLIE (INTO PHONE)
We're heading your way and we've
got company!
The F-150 takes a corner quickly and everyone slides to one
side. Izzy winds up on top of Charlie. Not that he minds. But
she quickly disengages.
Killer reaches the edge of town. He cuts across a railroad
track, then makes a couple of turns at traffic lights in
town. The trucks are only fifty yards behind them now.
Rounding another corner, he passes another Ford F-150 just
like his with a trailer in tow. The gang waves at the driver
as they pass. Killer takes another turn and disappears.
The truck whips around the corner and SKIDS to a stop at the
sight of the second F-150. The Ryan students, which include
the Cowboys, circle the truck.
The window rolls down on the truck as the students approach.
The driver: MEG. She laughs as the confused Ryan students
look on in horror.
MEG
Looking for someone? Or something?
One of the Ryan students opens the trailer. Empty. The
students pile in their trucks and peel out.
MEG (CONT’D)
Was it something I said?
EXT. RURAL ROAD - FORD F150 (MOVING) - LATER
The truck speeds along a deserted country road on the other
side of town. Happy faces on the team members. Izzy and
Charlie grin at each other, and she slides her hand into his.
EXT. EMO'S FARM - NIGHT
The F-150 pulls in to a large wheat farm. The truck swings
around to a barn where the doors are already open.
INT. BARN - NIGHT
Killer pulls the truck to a stop inside the barn. Everyone
jumps out, where they're greeted by Emo's PARENTS. Backs are
slapped, hair tussled. Congrats all around. Refreshments are
served by Emo's mom.
Killer looks suitably impressed. He looks in the back of the
trailer. Whistles.
Snacks comes up, a lemonade in each hand. Killer reaches for
one of them.
KILLER
Thanks, kid.
(raises his drink)
To Squeal Team Six. You guys
totally earned the name tonight.
EVERYONE
(raised drinks)
Cheers!
Everyone take a drink, but they're jolted back to reality:
SNACKS
I don't want to be the buzzkill
guy, but how are we gonna get this
hog in the stadium? Those Ryan
students are going to be blocking
every entrance to the stadium.
It is buzzkill. The other team members stop what they're
doing and look to Killer. He's not fazed.
KILLER
Leave that to me. Just make sure
you’re on the field at halftime.
PRELAP: The marching band DRUM BEAT once again builds, and we
know we're headed to: