Danny and Ben walk along a busy hallway during passing.
BEN
You can’t just blurt out stuff like
that, dude. Think of your
reputation! Think of my
reputation!
DANNY
Why not? It’ll catch on and I want
to be the one who started it all.
BEN
But it’s so dumb!
7.
Up ahead they spot BRIAN(16), the dork of all dorks, standing
by himself. Ben stops like a deer in a headlight.
BEN
Dogshit coming out my ass.
DANNY
Dude, what?
BEN
Avoid this jerk.
DANNY
Brian? Why?
BEN
Dude’s a total loser. He probably
wants to tell another stupid story
about how his dog ate breakfast
this morning or how he set his
alarm clock two minutes too early
or how he likes to count the hair
on his knuckles or-
DANNY
C’mon. He’s not that bad. You
really need to go easier on us
dorks.
BEN
Oh yes he is! He’s the vice
principal’s assistant! And he
always tries to bait you into a
conversation with his stupid
openings! So, when he says “what’s
up,” just say “nothing.”
DANNY
I hate the “what’s up” opening.
Everyone uses it!
BEN
Yeah, it’s a horrible opening,
isn’t it?
DANNY
And every single time it’s the same
answer: “Nothing. You?”
8.
BEN
Well, in this case just say
“nothing.” And by “nothing” I mean
actually say the word, don’t not
say anything otherwise you look
like a retard. Shit, he’s here...
Brian waves.
BRIAN
Hey guys!
Disgruntled, Ben waves back.
BRIAN
What’s up?
BEN
Nothing.
BRIAN
How about you, Dan?
DANNY
Nothing. You?
Ben smacks his head in aggravation and grinds his teeth.
BRIAN
Well, my mom went to the store the
other day to buy milk and the pull
date was January 29th which is in
one week but the pull date for the
others was January 28th.
DANNY
Oh. That’s interesting.
Brian laughs.
BRIAN
Yeah, so I guess we’ll live longer
than the people who bought the milk
for the 28th!
Ben and Danny dully laugh.
BRIAN
I’m just kidding, guys!
BEN
Yeah, that’s not very funny.
9.
BRIAN
You’ll get it eventually.
BEN
Well, we gotta get going. Nice
talking to you, Brian. Bye!
BRIAN
Ay-ay, captain!
The two of them walk off but Brian follows. Danny looks back
out of the corner of his eye.
DANNY
He’s following us.
BEN
I know. Just walk faster.
They speed up, but so does Brian.
DANNY
He’s still following us!
BEN
P.E.’s next. How about we warm up?
Ben and Danny run down the hallway, but so does Brian.
BEN
We have to split up!
DANNY
I’ll go left! You go right!
They both go the wrong way and accidentally crash into each
other before speeding off in different directions.
End of Chapter Five
EXT. HALLWAY - DAY
Danny and Ben walk along a busy hallway during passing.
BEN
You can’t just blurt out stuff like
that, dude. Think of your
reputation! Think of my
reputation!
DANNY
Why not? It’ll catch on and I want
to be the one who started it all.
BEN
But it’s so dumb!
7.
Up ahead they spot BRIAN(16), the dork of all dorks, standing
by himself. Ben stops like a deer in a headlight.
BEN
Dogshit coming out my ass.
DANNY
Dude, what?
BEN
Avoid this jerk.
DANNY
Brian? Why?
BEN
Dude’s a total loser. He probably
wants to tell another stupid story
about how his dog ate breakfast
this morning or how he set his
alarm clock two minutes too early
or how he likes to count the hair
on his knuckles or-
DANNY
C’mon. He’s not that bad. You
really need to go easier on us
dorks.
BEN
Oh yes he is! He’s the vice
principal’s assistant! And he
always tries to bait you into a
conversation with his stupid
openings! So, when he says “what’s
up,” just say “nothing.”
DANNY
I hate the “what’s up” opening.
Everyone uses it!
BEN
Yeah, it’s a horrible opening,
isn’t it?
DANNY
And every single time it’s the same
answer: “Nothing. You?”
8.
BEN
Well, in this case just say
“nothing.” And by “nothing” I mean
actually say the word, don’t not
say anything otherwise you look
like a retard. Shit, he’s here...
Brian waves.
BRIAN
Hey guys!
Disgruntled, Ben waves back.
BRIAN
What’s up?
BEN
Nothing.
BRIAN
How about you, Dan?
DANNY
Nothing. You?
Ben smacks his head in aggravation and grinds his teeth.
BRIAN
Well, my mom went to the store the
other day to buy milk and the pull
date was January 29th which is in
one week but the pull date for the
others was January 28th.
DANNY
Oh. That’s interesting.
Brian laughs.
BRIAN
Yeah, so I guess we’ll live longer
than the people who bought the milk
for the 28th!
Ben and Danny dully laugh.
BRIAN
I’m just kidding, guys!
BEN
Yeah, that’s not very funny.
9.
BRIAN
You’ll get it eventually.
BEN
Well, we gotta get going. Nice
talking to you, Brian. Bye!
BRIAN
Ay-ay, captain!
The two of them walk off but Brian follows. Danny looks back
out of the corner of his eye.
DANNY
He’s following us.
BEN
I know. Just walk faster.
They speed up, but so does Brian.
DANNY
He’s still following us!
BEN
P.E.’s next. How about we warm up?
Ben and Danny run down the hallway, but so does Brian.
BEN
We have to split up!
DANNY
I’ll go left! You go right!
They both go the wrong way and accidentally crash into each
other before speeding off in different directions.