Benny plays an adventure video game with Goth Geek. The
competition is intense, and there’s a lot of smack talk.
Benny performs an elaborate maneuver with his character and
obliterates Goth’s player. Benny tosses the controller aside.
BENNY
This bores me. I need more of a
challenge than you.
Goth Geek shrugs, then is suddenly struck with inspiration.
GOTH GEEK
You want a challenge? Win the
Challenge.
(off Benny’s confusion)
Hello? The Challenge?
BENNY
(the light goes on)
Yes. Yes! Exactly! These trivial
video games, the chess matches, the
domination of the pathetic student
rabble, they’re mindless endeavors.
But the Pork and Beans Challenge is
the one thing I haven’t been able
to achieve - yet. It’s the last
obstacle in my path to complete and
utter greatness. We have to make
sure that nothing stops us. Do you
understand? Nothing!
Benny laughs MANIACALLY. Or at least he tries to.
GOTH GEEK
You need to work on that laugh.
Benny sneers at him in disgust.
Numerous lab tables are scattered around the room.
FRESHMEN, divided at the tables by the social classes of
nerds, jocks and cool kids, participate in experiments.
Charlie and Snacks know their place. They sit amongst the
nerds. Toots sits across from them. He leans over a Bunsen
burner. Pulls out a small bag.
TOOTS
Watch this.
Toots take a small pinch of white powder from the bag and
throws it into the burner's flame. A magnificent orange-white
flame shoots toward the ceiling.
OOOH's rise from other students.
SNACKS
You need to seek help.
MR. KANTOR, a short, squatty, teacher with a bad comb over,
can’t even muster the energy to complain.
Toots shrugs. Charlie is amazed.
CHARLIE
Maybe you should teach this class.
TOOTS
Everybody has their own gifts, man.
Charlie squeezes a quarter-lemon onto some pH paper. Snacks
has his lemon in his mouth. Creates a solid yellow smile.
CHARLIE
I've been thinking. I’m going take
on the Challenge. But I can't do
this on my own. I need a team.
Snacks' lemon smile becomes a lemon frown. He spits it out.
SNACKS
No way. Not a chance in H-E-double
hockey sticks. We're a bunch of
brainiacs, Chuck. Not hulks like
those guys designed to do the heavy
lifting you need to pull this off.
Snacks points over to the muscle bound athletes gathered at
one table. They're making airplanes out of their test paper.
TOOTS
Don't need heavy liftin'.
(to Snacks)
Who do you think invented pulleys?
Levers and fulcrums? Lunkheads like
those guys?
Toots nods towards a bulky guy that takes a whole lemon and
squeezes it so hard that the lemon is crushed in his hand.
The juice pours into a beaker.
BULKY GUY
Hey! I just made orange juice.
TOOTS
Muscles can only get you so far.
Our brains can conceive what their
brawn can't achieve.
SNACKS
And if you humiliate the brawns,
they'll beat the brains out of you.
CHARLIE
Not if we have a plan to avoid it.
(to Toots)
So you in?
TOOTS
Yeah, sure.
CHARLIE
Your enthusiasm is overwhelming.
(to Snacks)
What about it?
SNACKS
Keep me out of your suicide
missions, dude.
Toots sets the pH paper over the Bunsen burner and it floats
to the ceiling, burning along the way.
CHARLIE
You know we're supposed to turn
that in, right?
PRELAP: The off-kilter sounds of a high school marching band.
The Pinkley High marching band, a small but willing bunch, go
through their routines for the upcoming game.
Charlie sits in the stands, mesmerized by Izzy, marching in
place, her cheeks puffing madly into her tuba's mouthpiece.
The band's song devolves into a series of bass drum beats.
BOOM, BOOM, BOOM. Charlie closes his eyes as the rhythm wafts
over him. After a moment:
IZZY (O.S.)
Charlie?
Charlie opens his eyes. Looks over. Izzy sits next to him,
but she’s no longer in her band outfit. Instead, she’s
dressed as Lara Croft, Tomb Raider. His eyes grow wide.
CHARLIE
Why are you dressed like that?
Izzy looks past Charlie.
BENNY (O.S.)
Every nerd’s dream, right, Charles?
Benny stands over Charlie, looming large. More confident.
More sinister. His voice is deep and powerful.
BENNY (CONT’D)
But that’s all she’ll ever be for
you. A dream. Izzy belongs to me,
and I've come for what is mine.
Benny raises his arms, casting a shadow that swallows the
tiny Charlie, and laughs that deep, evil laugh that all great
bad guys possess. It shakes Charlie to his core.
A crowd of STUDENTS gathers around them. Izzy steps past
Charlie and walks toward Benny.
IZZY
Sorry, Charlie.
Benny laughs again, this time louder. The crowd chants.
CROWD
Benny! Benny! Benny!
BENNY
Mine! All mine!
Charlie reaches for Izzy, but she falls into Benny’s arms.
CHARLIE
No!! Izzy!!
Charlie snaps awake. It was just a dream. Several high school
FRESHMEN sitting nearby laugh at Charlie. Embarrassed, he
runs quickly from the stands.
ON THE FIELD -- The band is on a break, and Izzy watches with
pity as Charlie makes his escape.
Charlie sits on the stairs, sullen and depressed. The school
year is not off to a good start for him.
The PLODDING of footsteps in the stairwell shakes him from
his pity party. Killer stops and looks back at Charlie.
KILLER
What's your problem?
Charlie stares into the wall of the stairwell.
CHARLIE
What isn’t? School sucks. The Jets
are picking on me. It’s one
embarrassing day after another.
KILLER
Sounds to me like every other kid
here. What makes you different?
CHARLIE
I don’t know... The thing is, after
dad passed away, I used to still
talk to him about my problems. I
know it's weird, but I would get a
sense of what dad would do in a
situation, like he was right there
with me. But now, when I need him
most, there’s nothing.
Killer leans against the wall. Charlie’s situation almost
elicits sympathy from him.
KILLER
What do you want to know?
CHARLIE
How do I stop being the prey?
Killer takes the half-chewed cigar from his mouth. Spits.
KILLER
Easy. Become the predator.
(off his confused look)
So you’re not predator material.
But this ain't rocket science.
Stand up for yourself. Stand up for
others. Make a bold statement -
something that shows Benny and the
Jets you're not gonna be a pushover
for the next four years.
CHARLIE
Something bold... like what?
KILLER
That you have to figure out for
yourself. Now beat it before I get
a reputation as a nice guy.
Charlie dashes off. Here endeth the lesson.
Charlie tinkers with an old lawn mower engine. He attempts to
mount it to a very homemade-looking go-kart frame.
His frustrations mount along with his failed efforts.
Finally, he throws a wrench, nearly hitting MEG, who deftly
ducks as she carries laundry into the garage.
MEG
Bad day?
CHARLIE
Sorry.
She loads the washing machine.
MEG
Not the first wrench I've dodged.
Your father had a bit of that in
him, too. Need some help?
CHARLIE
I've got it.
MEG
I could --
CHARLIE
-- I said I've got it!
It's harsh. She slams the washing machine door.
MEG
We're all dealing with stuff, bud.
Charlie slumps as his mother slides out of the garage.
Charlie sits on the floor and reads a book. Looks over at the
picture of his dad, sighs.
The door to his room is slightly ajar.
Meg stops by Charlie’s room, looks through the open doorway.
CHARLIE
(to Jack)
I met your friend Killer.
Interesting guy. Gave me some
advice, but I don’t know...seems
kind of weird. Don’t be the prey?
Meg slowly opens the door.
MEG
You talking to Dad?
CHARLIE
(embarrassed)
Yeah. It helps. A little.
MEG
I know. I do it, too.
She sits on the floor next to him. Wraps him up.
MEG (CONT’D)
I think about him every day. I know
how much you miss him, bud, but...
(quickly changes subjects)
How's school? Making any friends?
Charlie flops back on the bed.
CHARLIE
I think I've made more enemies.
MEG
New guy is always an easy target.
Everyone is battling something...
DING DONG. The doorbell. She moves to the window.
MEG (CONT’D)
You expecting someone?
Meg looks out the window. She hides a smile.
MEG (CONT’D)
It's a girl! Oh, she's cute.
Charlie is, of course, petrified. And intrigued. He attempts
to smooth his hair, catching a quick glance at a mirror.
Another DING DONG.
MEG (CONT’D)
You want me to answer that, or--?
CHARLIE
I got it! Just--stay there. Please.
— ③
INT. BASEMENT - NIGHT
Benny plays an adventure video game with Goth Geek. The
competition is intense, and there’s a lot of smack talk.
Benny performs an elaborate maneuver with his character and
obliterates Goth’s player. Benny tosses the controller aside.
BENNY
This bores me. I need more of a
challenge than you.
Goth Geek shrugs, then is suddenly struck with inspiration.
GOTH GEEK
You want a challenge? Win the
Challenge.
(off Benny’s confusion)
Hello? The Challenge?
BENNY
(the light goes on)
Yes. Yes! Exactly! These trivial
video games, the chess matches, the
domination of the pathetic student
rabble, they’re mindless endeavors.
But the Pork and Beans Challenge is
the one thing I haven’t been able
to achieve - yet. It’s the last
obstacle in my path to complete and
utter greatness. We have to make
sure that nothing stops us. Do you
understand? Nothing!
Benny laughs MANIACALLY. Or at least he tries to.
GOTH GEEK
You need to work on that laugh.
Benny sneers at him in disgust.
INT. HIGH SCHOOL - CHEMISTRY CLASS - DAY
Numerous lab tables are scattered around the room.
FRESHMEN, divided at the tables by the social classes of
nerds, jocks and cool kids, participate in experiments.
Charlie and Snacks know their place. They sit amongst the
nerds. Toots sits across from them. He leans over a Bunsen
burner. Pulls out a small bag.
TOOTS
Watch this.
Toots take a small pinch of white powder from the bag and
throws it into the burner's flame. A magnificent orange-white
flame shoots toward the ceiling.
OOOH's rise from other students.
SNACKS
You need to seek help.
MR. KANTOR, a short, squatty, teacher with a bad comb over,
can’t even muster the energy to complain.
Toots shrugs. Charlie is amazed.
CHARLIE
Maybe you should teach this class.
TOOTS
Everybody has their own gifts, man.
Charlie squeezes a quarter-lemon onto some pH paper. Snacks
has his lemon in his mouth. Creates a solid yellow smile.
CHARLIE
I've been thinking. I’m going take
on the Challenge. But I can't do
this on my own. I need a team.
Snacks' lemon smile becomes a lemon frown. He spits it out.
SNACKS
No way. Not a chance in H-E-double
hockey sticks. We're a bunch of
brainiacs, Chuck. Not hulks like
those guys designed to do the heavy
lifting you need to pull this off.
Snacks points over to the muscle bound athletes gathered at
one table. They're making airplanes out of their test paper.
TOOTS
Don't need heavy liftin'.
(to Snacks)
Who do you think invented pulleys?
Levers and fulcrums? Lunkheads like
those guys?
Toots nods towards a bulky guy that takes a whole lemon and
squeezes it so hard that the lemon is crushed in his hand.
The juice pours into a beaker.
BULKY GUY
Hey! I just made orange juice.
TOOTS
Muscles can only get you so far.
Our brains can conceive what their
brawn can't achieve.
SNACKS
And if you humiliate the brawns,
they'll beat the brains out of you.
CHARLIE
Not if we have a plan to avoid it.
(to Toots)
So you in?
TOOTS
Yeah, sure.
CHARLIE
Your enthusiasm is overwhelming.
(to Snacks)
What about it?
SNACKS
Keep me out of your suicide
missions, dude.
Toots sets the pH paper over the Bunsen burner and it floats
to the ceiling, burning along the way.
CHARLIE
You know we're supposed to turn
that in, right?
PRELAP: The off-kilter sounds of a high school marching band.
EXT. HIGH SCHOOL - FOOTBALL FIELD - DAY
The Pinkley High marching band, a small but willing bunch, go
through their routines for the upcoming game.
Charlie sits in the stands, mesmerized by Izzy, marching in
place, her cheeks puffing madly into her tuba's mouthpiece.
The band's song devolves into a series of bass drum beats.
BOOM, BOOM, BOOM. Charlie closes his eyes as the rhythm wafts
over him. After a moment:
IZZY (O.S.)
Charlie?
Charlie opens his eyes. Looks over. Izzy sits next to him,
but she’s no longer in her band outfit. Instead, she’s
dressed as Lara Croft, Tomb Raider. His eyes grow wide.
CHARLIE
Why are you dressed like that?
Izzy looks past Charlie.
BENNY (O.S.)
Every nerd’s dream, right, Charles?
Benny stands over Charlie, looming large. More confident.
More sinister. His voice is deep and powerful.
BENNY (CONT’D)
But that’s all she’ll ever be for
you. A dream. Izzy belongs to me,
and I've come for what is mine.
Benny raises his arms, casting a shadow that swallows the
tiny Charlie, and laughs that deep, evil laugh that all great
bad guys possess. It shakes Charlie to his core.
A crowd of STUDENTS gathers around them. Izzy steps past
Charlie and walks toward Benny.
IZZY
Sorry, Charlie.
Benny laughs again, this time louder. The crowd chants.
CROWD
Benny! Benny! Benny!
BENNY
Mine! All mine!
Charlie reaches for Izzy, but she falls into Benny’s arms.
CHARLIE
No!! Izzy!!
Charlie snaps awake. It was just a dream. Several high school
FRESHMEN sitting nearby laugh at Charlie. Embarrassed, he
runs quickly from the stands.
ON THE FIELD -- The band is on a break, and Izzy watches with
pity as Charlie makes his escape.
INT. HIGH SCHOOL - STAIRWELL - DAY
Charlie sits on the stairs, sullen and depressed. The school
year is not off to a good start for him.
The PLODDING of footsteps in the stairwell shakes him from
his pity party. Killer stops and looks back at Charlie.
KILLER
What's your problem?
Charlie stares into the wall of the stairwell.
CHARLIE
What isn’t? School sucks. The Jets
are picking on me. It’s one
embarrassing day after another.
KILLER
Sounds to me like every other kid
here. What makes you different?
CHARLIE
I don’t know... The thing is, after
dad passed away, I used to still
talk to him about my problems. I
know it's weird, but I would get a
sense of what dad would do in a
situation, like he was right there
with me. But now, when I need him
most, there’s nothing.
Killer leans against the wall. Charlie’s situation almost
elicits sympathy from him.
KILLER
What do you want to know?
CHARLIE
How do I stop being the prey?
Killer takes the half-chewed cigar from his mouth. Spits.
KILLER
Easy. Become the predator.
(off his confused look)
So you’re not predator material.
But this ain't rocket science.
Stand up for yourself. Stand up for
others. Make a bold statement -
something that shows Benny and the
Jets you're not gonna be a pushover
for the next four years.
CHARLIE
Something bold... like what?
KILLER
That you have to figure out for
yourself. Now beat it before I get
a reputation as a nice guy.
Charlie dashes off. Here endeth the lesson.
INT. CHARLIE'S RESIDENCE - GARAGE - NIGHT
Charlie tinkers with an old lawn mower engine. He attempts to
mount it to a very homemade-looking go-kart frame.
His frustrations mount along with his failed efforts.
Finally, he throws a wrench, nearly hitting MEG, who deftly
ducks as she carries laundry into the garage.
MEG
Bad day?
CHARLIE
Sorry.
She loads the washing machine.
MEG
Not the first wrench I've dodged.
Your father had a bit of that in
him, too. Need some help?
CHARLIE
I've got it.
MEG
I could --
CHARLIE
-- I said I've got it!
It's harsh. She slams the washing machine door.
MEG
We're all dealing with stuff, bud.
Charlie slumps as his mother slides out of the garage.
INT. CHARLIE'S RESIDENCE - BEDROOM - NIGHT
Charlie sits on the floor and reads a book. Looks over at the
picture of his dad, sighs.
The door to his room is slightly ajar.
INT. CHARLIE’S RESIDENCE - HALLWAY
Meg stops by Charlie’s room, looks through the open doorway.
CHARLIE
(to Jack)
I met your friend Killer.
Interesting guy. Gave me some
advice, but I don’t know...seems
kind of weird. Don’t be the prey?
Meg slowly opens the door.
MEG
You talking to Dad?
CHARLIE
(embarrassed)
Yeah. It helps. A little.
MEG
I know. I do it, too.
She sits on the floor next to him. Wraps him up.
MEG (CONT’D)
I think about him every day. I know
how much you miss him, bud, but...
(quickly changes subjects)
How's school? Making any friends?
Charlie flops back on the bed.
CHARLIE
I think I've made more enemies.
MEG
New guy is always an easy target.
Everyone is battling something...
DING DONG. The doorbell. She moves to the window.
MEG (CONT’D)
You expecting someone?
Meg looks out the window. She hides a smile.
MEG (CONT’D)
It's a girl! Oh, she's cute.
Charlie is, of course, petrified. And intrigued. He attempts
to smooth his hair, catching a quick glance at a mirror.
Another DING DONG.
MEG (CONT’D)
You want me to answer that, or--?
CHARLIE
I got it! Just--stay there. Please.