Charlie takes a deep breath, and slowly opens the front door.
It's Izzy. Holy cow. Charlie's knees buckle just a little.
CHARLIE
Izzy. Hi.
Charlie collects himself. He steps out onto the porch.
CHARLIE
How did you know I lived here?
IZZY
I volunteer occasionally in the
school office. Snuck a peak in your
file when no one was around.
CHARLIE
I don't know whether to be
flattered or scared.
IZZY
Thought I'd check on you. I know
it’s been a tough start.
(off Charlie’s shrug)
You doing okay?
CHARLIE
Yeah. Great. Um...want to come in?
IZZY
Thought you’d never ask.
Charlie, Izzy and Meg sit around the kitchen. Laughter fills
the room. A well-worn yearbook is open on the table to the
picture of the Pinkley high school guys and the behemoth hog.
CHARLIE
Why didn't you ever tell me?
MEG
Guess it wasn't relevant until now.
Meg points out the people in the picture.
MEG (CONT’D)
There's your dad, Skip, Kevin,
Donny, Mickey and Butch.
(to Izzy)
Can’t believe Skip’s your dad. He’s
the one who gave me a job here!
CHARLIE
Your dad is the County Sheriff?
IZZY
Yep. And no, he can’t get you out
of speeding tickets.
Her gaze returns to the picture. Her eyes squint a little.
IZZY (CONT’D)
Wait a second. This guy.
MEG
Who? Kevin?
IZZY
Is that... Killer?
Charlie leans in, and the recognition sinks in.
CHARLIE
Whoa. It is Killer.
MEG
‘Killer’? That’s a weird name for
such a sweet guy.
CHARLIE
Sweet? You sure we’re talking about
the same person? The school's head
of security?
MEG
Really! I wondered what happened to
Kevin after high school. Most of us
went off to college. He joined the
Navy, then became a Seal.
CHARLIE
Killer was a Navy Seal?
Once again the cogs in Charlie's mind start to turn.
CHARLIE (CONT’D)
(to Izzy)
You thinking what I’m thinking?
Charlie passes STUDENTS hunched over from the massive weight
of their backpacks.
He pulls up to his locker. A few lockers away, a faint
BANGING noise. Charlie rushes over and opens it. Snacks is
curled up inside. Charlie helps him out.
CHARLIE
You okay?
Snacks stretches himself back into shape.
SNACKS
Wasn't too bad. I was able to
finish some homework.
CHARLIE
Izzy is on board. And get this --
Killer was part of my dad’s team!
You know what that means? We can
get him to train us!
CHARLIE (CONT’D)
We can get him to train us!
SNACKS
That’s crazy talk.
Snacks SLAMS his locker door shut.
SNACKS (CONT’D)
You can try, but Benny is still
going to be the King of the Nerds.
CHARLIE
Trust me, Snacks. We pull this off,
and there'll be a new king in town.
Nearby, Principal Duggan peers from behind a bank of lockers,
a disapproving look at Charlie as he leaves.
The usual chaos. Charlie stares at his disgusting slice of
frozen microwaved pizza, while Snacks goes to town.
Two tables away, Killer and Duggan eat their lunch with a
group of other teachers, completely ignored by students.
Toots walks up with a tray. With him is EMO, 15, whose
nickname doesn't fit well at all. An Asian-American in
garish, loud colors. A big bandage sits on his forehead.
CHARLIE
Hey. Who's this?
TOOTS
Li Wei. We just call him Emo,
because he's such a punk.
EMO
Hello. I don't know what he means.
CHARLIE
None of us do. What happened?
EMO
Benny super glued my history book
to my forehead.
Everyone nods. They've all been there. Emo stabs at his food
with his fork, then lifts the offending food in the air and
examines it. Grimaces.
EMO (CONT’D)
You are going to pursue the
Challenge. This is exciting.
(off Charlie's look)
Toots told me. Do you need help?
CHARLIE
Yes! Absolutely.
SNACKS
You too? Why?
TOOTS
Man, you of all people should know
why. How many times have you been
taped to that vending machine? How
often has Emo had mashed potatoes
crammed in his pants?
Emo shifts uncomfortably in his seat.
TOOTS (CONT’D)
I'm tired of the gluing and toilet
plunging and the Jets generally
making our lives miserable. I can't
take another three years of this.
SNACKS
And stealing a rival's mascot is
going to solve all our problems?
CHARLIE
You said it yourself. Respect. We
win the Challenge, and the students
here will look up to us, including -
hello - the football team? That
alone is going to get the Jets off
our backs. The football team may
not win games, but the Jets aren't
going to go up against those guys.
TOOTS
Bro, the worst that happens is that
we fail. But least we'll have
tried. But to try we need a team.
EMO
There is an ancient Chinese saying:
"When people work with one mind,
they can even move Mount Taishan."
I’m actually from Wichita so I’m
not sure where that is.
CHARLIE
(to Snacks)
Please?
SNACKS
You sure this isn't about a girl?
CHARLIE
Were you not listening just now?
And as he says this, Izzy enters the lunch room. Charlie’s
eyes light up on seeing her, which Snacks picks up on.
SNACKS
Your honor, may I present into
evidence Exhibit A?
With her is CALISTA, 15. Every inch of her screams drama,
from her outlandish hair to her extravagant clothes.
Calista spots Charlie and sprints to his table.
CALISTA
Oh my god oh my god OH MY GOD!
CHARLIE
Uhh...
IZZY
Charlie, this is my friend Calista.
CHARLIE
(to Calista)
Are you okay? You need like a
Valium or something?
CALISTA
Of course I’m okay, you ding dong!
You're really going to do the
Challenge?
CHARLIE
Toots...
(off Toots shrug)
You told her? Who haven’t you told?
TOOTS
This some sort of big secret?
CHARLIE
If we're doing a secret operation,
then, yeah, it sorta is.
CALISTA
I want in!
CHARLIE
I don’t know if--
CALISTA
--What, because I'm a girl you
think I can't handle it?
She leans in and glares at Charlie. Hard. He flinches.
CHARLIE
Fine, you're in. Geez.
CALISTA
Awesome! Suck it, Jets!
CHARLIE
(sighs)
Okay. From this point on, we don't
talk about this to anyone.
(to Toots)
Anyone. We don’t want the Jets to
get word of what we’re up to.
The cafeteria suddenly settles down. Benny and his minions
enter the lunch room. Snacks cowers behind Emo.
EMO
We should leave. The mashed
potatoes looked very lumpy today.
Charlie looks across the room. Catches Killer's eye. He hears
Killer's voice in his head.
KILLER (V.O.)
Do something bold...
CHARLIE
(snaps to)
No! We can't keep running from him.
We have to take a stand and let him
know he can't bully us anymore.
IZZY
Well, good luck with that, stud.
Benny zeroes in on his target. Goth Geek and Hobbit stand
around Benny as he faces Charlie.
Princess goes over to Calista. Laughs at her outfit.
PRINCESS
Looks like the Goodwill Store had a
sale on crap.
Calista examines Princess’ wild shock of hair.
CALISTA
Who cuts your hair? Beavers?
BENNY
Girls, Girls, please.... Isabel.
Why do you debase yourself by
hanging with these mongrels?
Charlie glances at Izzy. She merely shrugs.
BENNY (CONT’D)
Don't get your hopes up, Charles.
You're far beneath her standards.
CHARLIE
Why so angry, Benny? Did the date
with your mirror not go so well?
Benny frowns. He picks up a slice of pizza from Charlie's
plate. Killer's voice plays again in his head.
KILLER (V.O.)
Stand up for yourself...
CHARLIE
Hey! Put it down, jerk.
BENNY
That's not very nice, Charles. You
should learn to share.
Killer tenses up. Senses something is about to go down.
Duggan watches with interest as well.
Goth Geek reaches down to grab a slice as well. Charlie
suddenly grabs his fork and STABS the table right next to
Goth's outstretched hand. He screams like a little girl.
Benny, frustrated at Charlie's insolence, throws his pizza
slice into Charlie's $3.99 K-Mart T-shirt. A trail of grease
left behind as it slides down. Oh, now it's on.
Charlie leaps on the table top. Benny wasn't expecting that.
BENNY (CONT’D)
What are you--
Before Benny can finish the sentence, Charlie jumps.
IN SLOW MOTION: A deranged Charlie flies through the air
towards Benny, who braces for impact. Just as they're about
to collide, Charlie STOPS in mid-air.
Benny looks up to see Charlie dangling in the air, held aloft
by the massive arm of Killer.
KILLER
What are you thinking?
CHARLIE
I was doing something bold.
KILLER
We need to talk about what the word
"bold" means.
PRINCIPAL DUGGAN (O.S.)
What's going on here?
Everyone wheels to see Duggan standing behind them.
CHARLIE
They were bullying us. As usual.
BENNY
I have no idea what he’s talking
about. We were discussing the lunch
menu, and he just went crazy.
Killer's eyebrows raise. The others protest Benny's lie.
PRINCIPAL DUGGAN
(to Charlie)
In school suspension. Saturday.
CHARLIE
(points to Benny)
Me? What about him?
PRINCIPAL DUGGAN
I didn't ask for him, did I?
Duggan turns to leave. Killer stops him.
KILLER
Hold on, Carl. Benny was just as--
PRINCIPAL DUGGAN
Didn’t ask for your opinion, did I?
Killer bows up. The anger evident on his face.
KILLER
It still eats at you, doesn't it?
After all these years?
Duggan considers a response, but instead ignores it.
PRINCIPAL DUGGAN
(to Charlie)
Eight a.m. Don’t be late.
Killer growls at Duggan as he leaves. Benny beams.
BENNY
You’re really making quite the
impression around here, Charles.
Not a good one, mind you, but...
(leans in; low)
Word around school is that you’re
going to take on the Challenge.
CHARLIE
(to himself)
Toots!
BENNY
A little advice: Give it up. You
can’t win. You have neither the
skills nor the manpower. The Jets,
on the other hand, can win it with
my guidance. And despite our
differences, I could use someone
like you on my team. You can be
someone here, Charles, if you just
make the right choice.
Charlie is at first dumbfounded at the suggestion, but he
suddenly snaps to.
CHARLIE
You call that a choice? That’s like
choosing to eat a turd sandwich.
Thanks, but no. We’re going to win
this, and then you and the Jets are
going to be finished.
— ④
INT. CHARLIE’S RESIDENCE - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
Charlie takes a deep breath, and slowly opens the front door.
It's Izzy. Holy cow. Charlie's knees buckle just a little.
CHARLIE
Izzy. Hi.
EXT. CHARLIE'S RESIDENCE - NIGHT
Charlie collects himself. He steps out onto the porch.
CHARLIE
How did you know I lived here?
IZZY
I volunteer occasionally in the
school office. Snuck a peak in your
file when no one was around.
CHARLIE
I don't know whether to be
flattered or scared.
IZZY
Thought I'd check on you. I know
it’s been a tough start.
(off Charlie’s shrug)
You doing okay?
CHARLIE
Yeah. Great. Um...want to come in?
IZZY
Thought you’d never ask.
INT. CHARLIE'S RESIDENCE - DEN - NIGHT
Charlie, Izzy and Meg sit around the kitchen. Laughter fills
the room. A well-worn yearbook is open on the table to the
picture of the Pinkley high school guys and the behemoth hog.
CHARLIE
Why didn't you ever tell me?
MEG
Guess it wasn't relevant until now.
Meg points out the people in the picture.
MEG (CONT’D)
There's your dad, Skip, Kevin,
Donny, Mickey and Butch.
(to Izzy)
Can’t believe Skip’s your dad. He’s
the one who gave me a job here!
CHARLIE
Your dad is the County Sheriff?
IZZY
Yep. And no, he can’t get you out
of speeding tickets.
Her gaze returns to the picture. Her eyes squint a little.
IZZY (CONT’D)
Wait a second. This guy.
MEG
Who? Kevin?
IZZY
Is that... Killer?
Charlie leans in, and the recognition sinks in.
CHARLIE
Whoa. It is Killer.
MEG
‘Killer’? That’s a weird name for
such a sweet guy.
CHARLIE
Sweet? You sure we’re talking about
the same person? The school's head
of security?
MEG
Really! I wondered what happened to
Kevin after high school. Most of us
went off to college. He joined the
Navy, then became a Seal.
CHARLIE
Killer was a Navy Seal?
Once again the cogs in Charlie's mind start to turn.
CHARLIE (CONT’D)
(to Izzy)
You thinking what I’m thinking?
INT. HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY - DAY
Charlie passes STUDENTS hunched over from the massive weight
of their backpacks.
He pulls up to his locker. A few lockers away, a faint
BANGING noise. Charlie rushes over and opens it. Snacks is
curled up inside. Charlie helps him out.
CHARLIE
You okay?
Snacks stretches himself back into shape.
SNACKS
Wasn't too bad. I was able to
finish some homework.
CHARLIE
Izzy is on board. And get this --
Killer was part of my dad’s team!
You know what that means? We can
get him to train us!
CHARLIE (CONT’D)
We can get him to train us!
SNACKS
That’s crazy talk.
Snacks SLAMS his locker door shut.
SNACKS (CONT’D)
You can try, but Benny is still
going to be the King of the Nerds.
CHARLIE
Trust me, Snacks. We pull this off,
and there'll be a new king in town.
Nearby, Principal Duggan peers from behind a bank of lockers,
a disapproving look at Charlie as he leaves.
INT. HIGH SCHOOL - LUNCH ROOM - DAY
The usual chaos. Charlie stares at his disgusting slice of
frozen microwaved pizza, while Snacks goes to town.
Two tables away, Killer and Duggan eat their lunch with a
group of other teachers, completely ignored by students.
Toots walks up with a tray. With him is EMO, 15, whose
nickname doesn't fit well at all. An Asian-American in
garish, loud colors. A big bandage sits on his forehead.
CHARLIE
Hey. Who's this?
TOOTS
Li Wei. We just call him Emo,
because he's such a punk.
EMO
Hello. I don't know what he means.
CHARLIE
None of us do. What happened?
EMO
Benny super glued my history book
to my forehead.
Everyone nods. They've all been there. Emo stabs at his food
with his fork, then lifts the offending food in the air and
examines it. Grimaces.
EMO (CONT’D)
You are going to pursue the
Challenge. This is exciting.
(off Charlie's look)
Toots told me. Do you need help?
CHARLIE
Yes! Absolutely.
SNACKS
You too? Why?
TOOTS
Man, you of all people should know
why. How many times have you been
taped to that vending machine? How
often has Emo had mashed potatoes
crammed in his pants?
Emo shifts uncomfortably in his seat.
TOOTS (CONT’D)
I'm tired of the gluing and toilet
plunging and the Jets generally
making our lives miserable. I can't
take another three years of this.
SNACKS
And stealing a rival's mascot is
going to solve all our problems?
CHARLIE
You said it yourself. Respect. We
win the Challenge, and the students
here will look up to us, including -
hello - the football team? That
alone is going to get the Jets off
our backs. The football team may
not win games, but the Jets aren't
going to go up against those guys.
TOOTS
Bro, the worst that happens is that
we fail. But least we'll have
tried. But to try we need a team.
EMO
There is an ancient Chinese saying:
"When people work with one mind,
they can even move Mount Taishan."
I’m actually from Wichita so I’m
not sure where that is.
CHARLIE
(to Snacks)
Please?
SNACKS
You sure this isn't about a girl?
CHARLIE
Were you not listening just now?
And as he says this, Izzy enters the lunch room. Charlie’s
eyes light up on seeing her, which Snacks picks up on.
SNACKS
Your honor, may I present into
evidence Exhibit A?
With her is CALISTA, 15. Every inch of her screams drama,
from her outlandish hair to her extravagant clothes.
Calista spots Charlie and sprints to his table.
CALISTA
Oh my god oh my god OH MY GOD!
CHARLIE
Uhh...
IZZY
Charlie, this is my friend Calista.
CHARLIE
(to Calista)
Are you okay? You need like a
Valium or something?
CALISTA
Of course I’m okay, you ding dong!
You're really going to do the
Challenge?
CHARLIE
Toots...
(off Toots shrug)
You told her? Who haven’t you told?
TOOTS
This some sort of big secret?
CHARLIE
If we're doing a secret operation,
then, yeah, it sorta is.
CALISTA
I want in!
CHARLIE
I don’t know if--
CALISTA
--What, because I'm a girl you
think I can't handle it?
She leans in and glares at Charlie. Hard. He flinches.
CHARLIE
Fine, you're in. Geez.
CALISTA
Awesome! Suck it, Jets!
CHARLIE
(sighs)
Okay. From this point on, we don't
talk about this to anyone.
(to Toots)
Anyone. We don’t want the Jets to
get word of what we’re up to.
The cafeteria suddenly settles down. Benny and his minions
enter the lunch room. Snacks cowers behind Emo.
EMO
We should leave. The mashed
potatoes looked very lumpy today.
Charlie looks across the room. Catches Killer's eye. He hears
Killer's voice in his head.
KILLER (V.O.)
Do something bold...
CHARLIE
(snaps to)
No! We can't keep running from him.
We have to take a stand and let him
know he can't bully us anymore.
IZZY
Well, good luck with that, stud.
Benny zeroes in on his target. Goth Geek and Hobbit stand
around Benny as he faces Charlie.
Princess goes over to Calista. Laughs at her outfit.
PRINCESS
Looks like the Goodwill Store had a
sale on crap.
Calista examines Princess’ wild shock of hair.
CALISTA
Who cuts your hair? Beavers?
BENNY
Girls, Girls, please.... Isabel.
Why do you debase yourself by
hanging with these mongrels?
Charlie glances at Izzy. She merely shrugs.
BENNY (CONT’D)
Don't get your hopes up, Charles.
You're far beneath her standards.
CHARLIE
Why so angry, Benny? Did the date
with your mirror not go so well?
Benny frowns. He picks up a slice of pizza from Charlie's
plate. Killer's voice plays again in his head.
KILLER (V.O.)
Stand up for yourself...
CHARLIE
Hey! Put it down, jerk.
BENNY
That's not very nice, Charles. You
should learn to share.
Killer tenses up. Senses something is about to go down.
Duggan watches with interest as well.
Goth Geek reaches down to grab a slice as well. Charlie
suddenly grabs his fork and STABS the table right next to
Goth's outstretched hand. He screams like a little girl.
Benny, frustrated at Charlie's insolence, throws his pizza
slice into Charlie's $3.99 K-Mart T-shirt. A trail of grease
left behind as it slides down. Oh, now it's on.
Charlie leaps on the table top. Benny wasn't expecting that.
BENNY (CONT’D)
What are you--
Before Benny can finish the sentence, Charlie jumps.
IN SLOW MOTION: A deranged Charlie flies through the air
towards Benny, who braces for impact. Just as they're about
to collide, Charlie STOPS in mid-air.
Benny looks up to see Charlie dangling in the air, held aloft
by the massive arm of Killer.
KILLER
What are you thinking?
CHARLIE
I was doing something bold.
KILLER
We need to talk about what the word
"bold" means.
PRINCIPAL DUGGAN (O.S.)
What's going on here?
Everyone wheels to see Duggan standing behind them.
CHARLIE
They were bullying us. As usual.
BENNY
I have no idea what he’s talking
about. We were discussing the lunch
menu, and he just went crazy.
Killer's eyebrows raise. The others protest Benny's lie.
PRINCIPAL DUGGAN
(to Charlie)
In school suspension. Saturday.
CHARLIE
(points to Benny)
Me? What about him?
PRINCIPAL DUGGAN
I didn't ask for him, did I?
Duggan turns to leave. Killer stops him.
KILLER
Hold on, Carl. Benny was just as--
PRINCIPAL DUGGAN
Didn’t ask for your opinion, did I?
Killer bows up. The anger evident on his face.
KILLER
It still eats at you, doesn't it?
After all these years?
Duggan considers a response, but instead ignores it.
PRINCIPAL DUGGAN
(to Charlie)
Eight a.m. Don’t be late.
Killer growls at Duggan as he leaves. Benny beams.
BENNY
You’re really making quite the
impression around here, Charles.
Not a good one, mind you, but...
(leans in; low)
Word around school is that you’re
going to take on the Challenge.
CHARLIE
(to himself)
Toots!
BENNY
A little advice: Give it up. You
can’t win. You have neither the
skills nor the manpower. The Jets,
on the other hand, can win it with
my guidance. And despite our
differences, I could use someone
like you on my team. You can be
someone here, Charles, if you just
make the right choice.
Charlie is at first dumbfounded at the suggestion, but he
suddenly snaps to.
CHARLIE
You call that a choice? That’s like
choosing to eat a turd sandwich.
Thanks, but no. We’re going to win
this, and then you and the Jets are
going to be finished.